Disappointment...

I hate where our life has taken us. After a year of living in the same shitty house, we moved out. Between rent and Nipsco, we didn't have money for anything else. So we moved in with my dad to save money. I had a job I loved, and we were able to pay most of our bills on time. But then the store I was working at closed.

I am now a married 26 year old woman who lives with her dad, and works a job I HATE. The best part about my job is I get a discount if I take my animals there. I'm miserable. I feel lost, and I feel like I am drowning in my sorrows. I know there are so many bigger, more important things to worry about, but this is my life. I went from working ALL THE TIME to hardly ever working. When I do work, it's for 2-3 hours tops. I got my first check today. I made 150 for THREE WEEKS of work. Three weeks of work and I can't even pay my car payment. I feel like a disappointment to myself, to my husband, and to my family. I have no education, and an awful job where I literally clean up poop. I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I have no direction.

 I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to give it to God and let him handle it. I know He will in His own time. However, until He does, I am miserable and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe I just need a hug? Maybe I just need someone to sit and listen to me ramble and "douche" it up just so I can get it out? I don't know. But I'm always open to hugs......