What a stress filled day today! In general, this week, it just seems like every day I wake up, there is something new to worry about.
A very close family friend died this week. Valentine's day to be exact. I have known this woman my whole life. Literally. You would never know she had a bad day. She always had a huge smile on her face, and big hugs for everyone. The last time I saw her was in October at my wedding. She was so happy for me, and she seemed fine. I guess a lot can happen in a few months. Her viewing was today and sadly I couldn't go. I had to work, plus I don't have a vehicle and couldn't find a ride. Tomorrow is her funeral. (I also have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. From one extreme to the next!) I just can't wrap my head around the fact that she is gone. I can't even BEGIN to imagine how her family is feeling. I don't think there was a single person, EVER, who could have met this lady and not loved her. She really was a gem, and she will TRULY be missed.
Aside from her death, it's mostly been the normal things stressing me out. Bills, the lack of money to pay them, things at work,...you know, the normal stuff. However, my mom called with some pretty upsetting news this morning...Well, text is more like it. Although I would like to discuss it, I don't feel right writing about other people's business. One major thing to keep in mind...My mom and I are very close. I tell her everything and we confide in each other on a regular basis. So, when I hurt, she hurts. When she hurts, I hurt. I haven't stopped hurting for her since she told me the news. Don't worry, she isn't dying or anything, things just aren't going well for her. I wish I could be there to comforter her but she lives an hour and a half away from me. I know she knows I care and that I am just a phone call away, but as far as I'm concerned, that isn't good enough. She used to lay in my bed with me and hold me as I cried. No matter what it was about. I wish I could be there to do the same for her. (Mom, if you read this, I love you.)
My husband is working over tonight. I hate being home alone. Especially when I'm feeling the way I do today. He seems to like his new job pretty well though, and it pays good too. I miss him when he leaves everyday, and worry about him until he is home in my arms again. He seems to be working over a lot recently. Any normal girl would think she was being cheated on. I won't say that thought hasn't crossed my mind. I'd be lying if I did. However, I trust my husband. He would never do anything to hurt me intentionally in anyway, shape or form. He loves me. I love him. He is my missing puzzle piece and I am his. Things moved rather quickly between us, but when you know, you know. Why wait? All I know, is that when I said I do, I meant it with every fiber in my being.
In this day and age it seems like people think of marriage as something temporary. Everyday, more and more people get divorced. Another thing I can't wrap my mind around. How can you take that vow and break it so quickly over something stupid like the other person deleting a show from the DVR? Society baffles me and I doubt I will ever understand. How can you just toss someone, that you have devoted your life to, off to the side like a piece of trash? If you love someone one day, how can you turn around and fall out of love the next? It shouldn't be that easy. If it is, I doubt you ever loved them to begin with.
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